Twenty Year Trek To Confession

   Bless me Father for I have sinned. 

It had been over 20 years since my last confession.  Pretty alarming for a proud Catholic mom, woman, and catechist.  A bit more so since I was a catechist to the second grade CCD classes for a good 7 or 8 years at my church, leading many young Catholic children in preparation for their very First Reconcilliation and their First Holy Communion.

It was easy at first to avoid confession.  I adopted a ‘protestant’ attitude and was confident that I could just talk directly to God with my apologies.  Who else needed to know except Him?  I think it was both pride and fear that had me detouring away from the precious sacrament of Reconcilliation.

Years went by and not only did I think I was justified to be skipping the middle man, I was saving myself the additional embarassment my bag of sins could bring.  What would Father think of me if he knew all my stuff?  Especially the stuff that I kept repeating!

For all those years I was teaching my students the importance and the gift that we as Catholics enjoy in the sacrament, but I never really taught my own children to enjoy that same gift.  I did not teach them and did not lead by example.  How selfish that was to deny them the privilege of absolution and forgiveness.

Thanks to the journey of a Celebrate Recovery Step Study, I have learned the true gift that confession offers.  The miracle that the middle man brings to the formula is the best part of the sacrament  It is the true healing it provides.  It is a 3 step process – confess, be absolved, and be healed.  It cannot be accomplished with only 2 of the steps alone.

Bless me Father for I have sinned.  It has been over 20 years since my last confession.  Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee.  And I detest all my sins because of thy just punishment, but most of all, because the offended thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love.  I firmly resolve, with the help of thy grace, to confess my sins, to do my just punishment, and to avoid the near occaisions of sin. Amen

Thank you Father Sean.

I walked to the pew, knelt to pray the Lord’s prayer many times as my penance, marveling at the feeling of walking on air.  My just punishment was really a wonderful gift of healing and forgiveness.   I stayed for the vigil mass and was especially blessed to receive Jesus in the Holy Eucharist for the first time in a long time.

Where shall my journey take me next?